Monday, February 15, 2016

Top 7 Rule Changes Needed

Basketball: The dimensions of the court needs to be expanded. The average height of man has grown 4 inches over the last 100 years, and the average height for women has grown over 1 inch. People still argue with Charles Darwin on all aspects. Just call it trait change or adaptive radiation instead of evolution. The folks that disagree might not realize they are synonyms or what the word synonym means. Yes, people still argue the fact that things might change over 4.54 billion years. 

Football: If the ball comes out before the whistle blows it's a fumble. Hold on to the ball. Stop making it easier on the offense. It is already really hard to play defense. The offense knows what they are doing before play starts. Maybe they should expand the field, also; if they are concerned about scoring. Oh yeah, and don't make a call until after it has been reviewed. It is too hard to overturn.

Baseball: I wouldn't dare. I don't know why, but I just feel like that's what I should say. Maybe clone Derek Jeter so each team can have one.

NHL: Direct mail/email campaigns explaining the rules to those who didn't grow up playing on the frozen ponds. I did, and I don't watch as much because I have to hold a Hockey 101 class with every person in the room. It makes me miss the one goal my team scores to win it in the 3rd and last period. They play periods not quarters. I have to order water instead because of the cotton mouth from explaining the adaptive radiation of the icing call or the FOX experiment with the laser puck.


Soccer: Don't change a thing. It's growing popularity.  Even for the folks that don't like it, because when they watch a meaningful game, they do. The World Cup is analogous to the Olympics.


Tiddlywinks: Change the name to Totally Intense Checker Chucking or TICC and then market like crazy.  There are people all over twitter, Facebook, and LinkedIn that can help you with growing your following apparently. Pop over to play some TICC. Bring Lymes.


Underwater Basket Weaving: Raise awareness against the negative use of the idiom for the sake of the millions of folks and their personal household decor preferences. Maybe dump baskets filled with ice water on people.


Star Wars Checkers Game (As seen on Star Wars Episode IV: A New Hope): Isn't it about time?